Where no man has gone before

I just found out there's nothing quite so unpleasant as a strange man sticking a probe up your willy to check your bladder is in good working order. They told me the gel was an anaesthetic. Ooooh really? Next time, I pray they whack me over the head with a 2-pound ball hammer. "I hope you're not going to faint on me?" said the pleasant nurse, who probably does 1,000 of these routine inspections a day. No, but I did sob a little.

This experience topped the man sticking a finger (at least I hope it was a finger) up my bum a few weeks ago to check my nether region bits were fully functional. I believe I let out an embarrassed squeak.

Still, you've got to laugh. Although oddly enough, I didn't. Three cheers for the NHS!